Sunday, September 30, 2012

Spring Season - In the Name of Flora

It is exactly 30 days of Spring today and the weather is absolutely beautiful with the clear blue sky and warm breeze kissing my rosy cheeks and caressing my tanned skin. Ahh...what a feeling. I could just lie on the soft grass all day while writing my blog.

Everyone knows Spring means the time of blooming flowers, the buzzing of bees and the chirping of birds. It's the time when people gets busy tending their garden, or go for picnics at  the park or go for walks at the foreshore. It's also the time when people are looking forward for summer holidays in just 2 more months. But let's not jump ahead too fast. Spring is here and Mother Nature has been extremely busy with her work, making sure her artwork is there to be appreciated by us.

And I did just that, by taking few shots of blooming orchids, kangaroo paws, red sunburst, etc. taken at the backyard of my aunt's garden. If you're a fan of the flora...then you'll enjoy my colourful collection of flowers.


















Sunday, September 23, 2012

Post-traumatic Stress

The battlescars of love...it never actually heals..not from the inside..only on the surface.
When you had loved someone so much, and seeing that someone is happy with another, it kills you inside tremendously..what have I done wrong? I felt that at first...and it took me years to realise that you can't have him back..because it's not meant to be. Love can either put you in greater heights or in the lowest point of your life...I learnt to let go..not immediately, but gradually...

Ever since then, I let myself occupied with work, friends and books. Anything to avoid myself get caught up with the memories of my past. Friends and family tell me to be strong and move on...I did...for a couple of years...but it still haunts me back...I still see a glimpse or shadows of him, somewhere on the busy street or on the road...but it's not him...it's just my eyes, playing tricks on me...my mind is telling me...it's him..but it's not!!

I had a couple of short term relationships then, but it didn't feel as strong as I had before...it's frustrating when you don't know what to do about it. Then, just recently, I met someone I really like...it was not love at first sight...we were introduced through my cousin's boyfriend...who is his best friend since childhood. I was not keen at first because I thought...yeah...just another guy..and a shy and quiet one too! I can't see myself being with someone who don't really talk much. I like to be able to have a good long conversation and some sense of humour.

He works away on a 2 in 1 roaster. He would come over to visit and catch up with my cousin and boyfriend for drinks during his R&R. We did go out, just the four of us, for dinner and drinks, or go for rides to the parks and just enjoy the leisure walks. After a few outings, things started to get better. He started to have small conversations with me every time when he's back for his R&R.  But I didn't want to rush..because I know that if I go too fast and let my feelings get the better of me... I will have my heart sliced open and become vulnerable again. So I took few steps back and stay friends for now. He understands and respect my decision and happy to just be friends for now. If the friendship doesn't go up to the next level, I know I'll be OK...